Crazy Like A Flower Girl
by Don Seto
Summary: A trip through the Train Graveyard takes a turn for the... uh... surreal.


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Crazy Like A Flower Girl

By Don Seto

Pools of light spilled out of the rusted metal train shells and over the bare concrete. Coils of barbed wire, ripped and thin from years of abuse, lurked in the dark corners. Three shadowy figures emerged from a manhole between two train wrecks, looking almost as dishevelled as the graveyard they were standing in.

"This is such a lovely place," Tifa murmured. "I'll have to look into the real estate." She glanced around, and spotted something glowing in the murk off to her left. "You guys go ahead, I'll explore over here."

Cloud nodded. "C'mon, Aeris, I think I can see a bridge up there..."

"There's a gap over here," Aeris said, trotting away to the right. "Maybe we can climb through this train?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. How was he supposed to protect the dizzy girl if she kept wandering off and ignoring his advice? He stalked through the gloom into another lit-up patch, and cautiously tested the ramshackle bridge. It seemed to be sturdy enough. "Hey," he began. "Come here, you guys, I've found…"

"Ooh, Cloud, look at me!" Aeris giggled from somewhere below him. She was standing on the roof of one of the wrecked train carriages; she held her arms wide, like a tightrope walker in a circus.

"Never mind that," Cloud snapped, "get up here! We're supposed to be saving Sector 7, not playing stupid games…"

Tifa came up beside him on the bridge. She handed Cloud a health potion. "I found this over – what _is_ she doing?"

"I betcha I've found the short cut out of here," Aeris crowed, edging around a jagged hole in the roof of the train and waving at Cloud and Tifa. "Aren't I clever – aieeeeeeee!"

She screamed and leapt into the air, her arms outstretched. The next thing Cloud knew, he was lying on the ground, inside the train carriage, with Aeris clinging to him.

"What happened?" Cloud asked, concerned.

Aeris shivered. "I thought I saw a ghost."

"Oh, get off me!" Cloud snarled. "For heaven's sake, you nearly killed me! What's the matter with you?"

"Well, I wouldn't have been scared if I had some way of defending myself!" Aeris said defensively. "You only let me have this stupid restore materia, and what use would that be if a ghost attacked me?"

Cloud stared at her, eyes glowing murderously. "Fine," he said. "FINE! Here." He grabbed his sword and ripped out the materia, flinging the coloured rocks at Aeris' feet. "Tifa, give her your materia too," he added, pulling an orb out of his Titan Bangle. "There you go, Aeris, knock yourself out," Cloud snapped. "Just hurry up about it!"

Aeris smiled happily as she surveyed the pile of materia. They were such pretty colours, she thought, stroking one of them. It was like a rainbow over the distant hills; it was like a bouquet of fresh flowers… Oh, how she loved flowers!

"DAMN IT AERIS, HURRY UP!"

She sighed and chose some of the prettiest materia – two beautiful green ones, a nice pink one and a lovely buttercup yellow one. The pink one matched her clothes. Oh, how she loved clothes!

****

"AERIS!"

"Here you are, Cloud," Aeris said tranquilly, wandering up onto the bridge and giving him back the spare materia. "No need to lose your temper. At least now I can help you in battles, right?"

Tifa muttered something about flying pigs, but Aeris didn't quite catch it.

They were soon on the other side of the bridge, and Cloud shimmied up a ladder on the side of a different train. "Come on," he called softly, "we can go this way."

"_Totally_ my idea," Aeris muttered as she waited to follow Tifa up the ladder. "I knew I was right." She climbed onto the first rung, and felt an icy shiver down her spine. "Ghosts!" Aeris squeaked, virtually flying the rest of the distance up to the roof.

Tifa had moved into a fighting stance, poised for action. "I guess you're not so delusional after all," she said, staring past Aeris.

Cloud drew his sword, smiling grimly. "Get out of the way, Aeris, we can't attack while you're standing in front of the enemies."

"Oh," Aeris said confidently, "you two don't need to fight. Not now I've got this new materia. I think I can handle some silly ghosty by myself." She beamed at them and readied her staff. "Just watch!"

She turned around, and saluted the misty white form. "Prepare to die," Aeris declared. "Again."

The green materia on her Guard Stick glowed invitingly. "Yes, I'll cast… um… whatever spell that is," Aeris murmured. "Go, spell!"

A tiny ball of fire surrounded the ghost briefly, then faded away. The ghost didn't look as though it was about to die a second death.

"Darn, Fire again," Aeris said irritably. "I hate that spell."

The spectre drifted past her and towards Tifa, and Aeris tried to hide a smile. Obviously the ghost had decided to pick on someone less dangerous than herself, the Mighty Magical Aeris. Well, that suited her just fine.

To her amazement, Aeris found herself being drawn towards Tifa by some invisible force. "Um…" Aeris began, as her feet moved against her will. What on earth was she doing?

The ghost lunged at Tifa to attack, but Aeris threw herself in between the two. "Ohhhh!" she shrieked, as the phantom shook her violently, then floated back, away from her.

"I feel sick," Aeris whispered. She couldn't let Cloud see her doubts, though. "Take this, vile apparition!" She dashed towards the ghost, stabbing at him with her staff. To her horror, she found herself attempting to pickpocket the spectre. One of its boney hands fell off and somehow toppled into her grasp.

"Eeeeeeeeuuuuuuwwwww!" Aeris screamed at the top of her lungs. "Get it off me, get it off me!" She flailed her arms around wildly, but the ghostly limb had caught on the sleeve of her dress and wouldn't come off. She couldn't bear to touch it again – it was cold and clammy, and dead.

The ghost was eyeing her malevolently.

"I'm sorry!" Aeris said, her eyes almost welling up. "I really don't want this, it's your hand, you can have it back if you like, please, oh pleeeeease take it back…"

The ghost moved towards Cloud to attack.

"Oh no," Aeris sobbed, as she was dragged over towards her 'bodyguard'. "Not again…"

The creature flung itself at Cloud, but Aeris managed to get in its way again. "Gnaaah," Aeris groaned as she was flung about like a rag doll. 

When she could stand up again, Aeris faced her foe with fresh determination. She was _not_ going to be made a fool of by this cheap spook. She still had one magic materia. It was probably something really devastating. She had heard of a spell called Flare, and one called Comet, and one called Ultima that was all green and fuzzy. That would be very cool.

"Go, magic," Aeris commanded, and a green aura surrounded the ghost. Yes, it was Ultima! Thank the Planet! She had won!

"Um, Aeris?" Cloud asked meekly. "Why did you just cast Restore on the ghost?"

"Oh!"

Aeris was really enraged now. She was sick of playing games with this stuck-up spectre. She readied her staff and charged at the ghost.

Which vanished.

Aeris clung to the side of the train, whining. Why did these things always happen to her? Yesterday she had been an unassuming flower girl, and now here she was, dangling by her fingertips above a sea of barbed wire.

Well, she wasn't going to put up with it. Summoning all of her strength, Aeris hauled herself up onto the rusted iron roof. The ghost was just fading back into view. She waited behind it, her temper flaring.

Gritting her teeth, Aeris plucked the ghost hand from her sleeve and hurled it at the phantom. It turned around, slowly, and glared at her.

"Come on, spooky, give me your best shot," Aeris snarled.

The ghost surged towards her, hissing angrily and whipping at her.

Aeris took a deep breath, accepting the pain, and felt something inside of her snap. She was a woman with a mission. She smiled viciously. "Seal Evil."

The air around her turned crimson and Aeris felt power rushing through her, turning into a solid wall of energy. It surrounded the ghost and froze it in place, as though suspended within a block of ice.

Aeris smiled innocently at the motionless ghost. Then she began to batter it with her staff, unleashing all of her frustration. After a few powerful blows, it was teetering on the edge of the train.

"Thank you," Aeris said pleasantly, "and goodnight." She plunged the staff into the ghost, and it toppled backwards.

She peered over the edge. The ghost had landed on the barbed wire, and seemed to be stuck. After a second, it stopped struggling. Defeated.

Aeris' legs gave out, and she sunk to her knees. "Thank the Planet," she whispered. She surveyed her materia in disgust. "Useless junk," Aeris sniffed, pulling the coloured gems out of her Guard Stick. "Keep 'em," she told Cloud. "I'll just have this restore materia. I'm not feeling too good..."

"Umm…" said Cloud.

"Ahh…" began Tifa.

Aeris held the green materia in one hand. "Magic me," she commanded.

The aroma of burning hair filled the night air.

"Ohhhhhhhh," said Aeris.

****

The End


End file.
